Preggo Diaries: How Pregnancy had left me speechless!

In the last 24 weeks, I have watched my whole world flip on its axis.

Dramatic statement? Yes.

Exaggeration? No.

Let me explain. I am by nature an over-sharing individual. I am all about talking about how events in life effect me in big ways and in little ways, but when I came to know that the hubz and I were expecting our first child I literally was thrown into the whirlwind that is pregnancy.

The hubz and I had just started to talk about potentially adding a baby to our little yet crazy world. I mean we had JUST talked about it a month before I got knocked up so to speak…

Then in December of 2014, I was feeling under the weather and super unlike myself. I was told by a friend to take a test just to rule out pregnancy… But then the two lines appeared in the three minute wait time.

Our whole world changed in that three minutes. He was over the moon and so was I but that was the beginning of my speechlessness.

I told my parents soon after we found out! Read: over-sharing I mean I managed to stay mum for a week before I had to find a cute way to tell them! I gave my mom, dad and sister a onsie and they were all so happy they did not stop crying tears of joy for a while…
Over the next few weeks, I went through classic pregnancy symptoms, nausea, morning all day sickness, lack of appetite, I was always exhausted, needing to eat very bland food… It wasn’t very exciting.

I wanted to tell people what I was going through but I wasn’t able to put it into words. The fact that I was carrying life was a daunting idea to wrap my head around. It was really humbling. In those initial moments when my body was not doing what I wanted it to, it basically went into a mode I frankly did not know it could ever go into. I was a carrier for this mass of cells working hard to flourish… And I had to do its bidding.

The first 15 weeks of my pregnancy were next to hellish. It took me completely by surprise. Zombie is the only word I can use to describe what I was living. This is a whole new topic, one I want to cover in a blog post all on its own. Let’s just say, that I am super glad I can eat food now.

I am happy to say I am almost through my second trimester and I couldn’t be more happy with the way the baby is developing! MashAllah.

I am happy to say that over the last 24 weeks I have been sort of in a reflective state. Withdrawing from my need to over share on Facebook and Instagram and just lived the moments in this time, I have learned so much about myself, my husband, my family, my life in general that I would not have known otherwise.

As I come to understand this whole experience I realize how important it is to share my experience. I know that every pregnancy is different, each mother is unique in the road she takes in her pregnancy, but I feel like there are a lot of similarities that should be shared and that is my goal for this series of entries!

Please send me your prayers and good vibes as you read more about my journey and I hope that I am able to at least speak to one mom-to-be in her walk towards a new chapter in life.

Goodbye 2014

It’s occurred to me that over the last year so much has happened that I don’t want to remember. The last year has been a roller coaster of peaks and valleys. Most of which has been an internal struggle for me, as I always pictured myself as someone who was fairly put together, however as the days unraveled in the year 2014, it became painfully obvious that I was on a search to find myself, again.

Having a few years of marriage under my belt I found myself searching for the individual that I thought I was. Somewhere along the way I realized that I am not what I wanted to be, I am not who I wanted to be, and I’m not doing things the way I wanted to do. And after much thinking I realized that… it’s okay.
It isn’t necessary to be who you wanted to be, or do what you wanted to do because somewhere along the line, life takes you for the ride that life is and I realize that in life has a plan for me. It takes a lot for me to admit I’m not in control, because if you know me, you know that I am a total control freak I need to plan crap out of everything.

So as I close out the year 2014 I want to admit that I am not in control and my life is uncertain and I know that the next year will be a whole new ball game of challenges.

But I am feeling optimistic.

This year has shown me so many things I am fortunate to have in my life, I have a beautiful family, an amazing husband who pulls out all the stops to make me laugh every single day… I have so many blessings that Allah has dropped into my life this year, that although it has been a challenging year for my personal growth, I cannot forget the happiness.

So many good things are going to grace us in 2015. I am excited. I am nervous. But most of all, I’m ready.

I wish all of us a fantastic new year! May all our hopes and dreams become a reality this coming year.


I Need Some Sleep

The pain is a buzzing pain.  It’s a kind of pain that happens in the background. It does not come to the forefront for me to be able to resolve it.  It taunts me, doesn’t leave me alone.  It’s been following me around like a dark cloud.  I wake up with it.  I go to sleep to try to escape it.  I try to distract myself but nothing seems to make a difference.  I feel entirely by myself in this struggle.  Although I know that people are around me,  I am missing a part of me.

That void is creating this pain.

I don’t feel whole.  And that is something that is so hard to deal with.  I just don’t get it.

I have a wonderful family.  I have amazing parents, the perfect little sister, a great hubzter and not to mention the countless other individuals in my life that want good for me.  But I can’t shake this incredible feeling of spiraling further into a hole that I am afraid I might not be able to get out of.

It’s odd.  I don’t ever recall feeling so helpless and sad before in my life.  I am really trying to see the silver lining in my life, but I am just failing to do so.

Can sadness physically hurt? I know that my life is not progressing the way I had once planned… I know I had wanted to be in a different place, professionally and personally.  Neither of which are going my way as a result of forces I have absolutely no control over.  So if I know that I have no control over these aspects of my life, why am I feeling bent out of shape?  Why am I so unable to cope with this lack of direction?

This is by far the worst point in my life.  The idea that happiness is just a pipe dream is really taking a toll on me.  I didn’t want to write an entry on a blog, and open myself up to my family and friends and strangers alike.

I didn’t want to be judged or pitied.

But this is not letting me sleep.

I need some sleep.

Leaving My Passion ~ My Biggest Regret

I am usually a girl that makes BIG decisions on the fly.  I rely a lot on my gut.  I don’t know about you, but the prospect of not knowing what happens next excites me, elicits in me a spark of inspiration and wonder.  It’s like a brand new adventure with nooks and crannies yet to be discovered.

I decided I wanted to be with the man of my dreams forever a week after I met him.  I chose the place I wanted to live after one showing.  I bought my first home as if i went to buy a pair of shoes at the mall…

Basically, I jump into life’s crazy twists and turns without a harness or a safety net.


I have yet to regret this trait of mine… till now.

A few months ago, I jumped into a career opportunity that was so far out of my comfort zone that for the first time, I felt like I leaped and did not land on solid ground.  This, has never happened to me.  I have always seemed to flourish in whatever new environment I find myself in.  Like water, I take the shape of the vessel I am in.  However, it did not pan out this way for me.  Everyday I am finding challenges that are chipping away at my resolve instead of lighting a fire within me to take on the new endeavors that are coming my way.

Initially, I had thought…why not? why not leave everything you have learned and become accustomed to and throw caution to the wind.  Try something totally new.  I knew it would challenge me; this new step. In my life,

I had come to think of working and employment in a very logical way.  To me, if I am working for anyone other than myself, I am replaceable.  I am just an employee that produces and gets compensated for my work.  In my mind I wanted to advance at a quick rate because I felt that in order to get noticed, I must work harder and quicker then the next girl because I wanted to make the money.  I used to look at opportunities in the monetary gain department.  I took the option that gave me the most money. The Hubzter never understood this.  Why do you have to ALWAYS go where the money is? Um… duh.. I want to live the “life”.  I want to enjoy the fruits of my labour…. yesterday.  Who cares about personal fulfillment?

And this is where I went wrong.

As I sit here, I confess that I made the wrong move.  I put money before happiness.  I put success before inner satisfaction.  And I cannot begin to explain how much regret I feel.  and the funny thing is… it’s not even THAT much more money.

Before you freak, I didn’t sell my soul to the devil or anything like that… but I somehow feel like I sold myself short.  I took too lightly my passions, and went in a different direction just because I felt like i would make more money in that industry.  I was wrong and i thoroughly regret it.   In fact, I wish I could take it all back.

Unfortunately, real life does not work that way…  I now know what I let go of… and I am going to put my heart and soul back into the search so that THIS TIME… i think a little harder before I throw myself into another twist of life…

Who knows? maybe I’ll redeem myself.

Simple Spicy Grilled Chicken & Summer Quinoa Salad

The Hubzter has been on a mission lately. He wants to get in shape for summer. He’s been working out hard and honestly, I’m so proud of him for always doing his best to live a healthy lifestyle! [He wants to maintain his boyish good looks as long as he can!]

Since I am not much of a “Worker-Outer” I tend to stay away when he’s off bench pressing or worse… Cardio. [dude, you asked for a life partner, nowhere does it say anything about running partner on the contract I signed]. In an effort to help both myself and his efforts, I have been working on how to incorporate healthier options into our meals.


Spicy Grilled Chicken & Summer Quinoa Salad

I also find that eating healthy is the summer is so much easier to do with a grill! So today? I’m going to share with you a recipe that I loved making and had the Hubz go back for seconds, without feeling the guilt.

For the Chicken:
2 boneless chicken breasts
2 tsp of Dijon mustard
1 tbsp of soy sauce
Splash of Worcestershire sauce
0.5 tsp of red chilli powder
Salt & pepper to taste

In a bowl put the chicken in and dump all the ingredients on top of it. Then massage the chicken with the marinade. Put the chicken in the fridge overnight to let the spices do their magic!


Preheat your grill to 400oC. Place your chicken breast on the grill and make sure you hear the sizzle! That means the grill is the perfect temperature. Close the cover of the grill and let it cook away!
After about six to seven minutes, turn the chicken 45 degrees and place it back in the grill to give your chicken some crisscross grill marks [I know, very gourmet of me]
That should be another minute and a half. Then flip and do the same on the other side. This time leave it for 5 minutes.
Once the chicken had cooked through, take it off the grill and set aside.

For the Quinoa:
3 cups quinoa, cooked [follow cooking directions on the package]
1 large carrot, chopped
1 small red onion, chopped
2 cups baby spinach, chopped
1 can of sweet corn
1 small head of broccoli, chopped
1 large handful of cilantro, chopped
Juice of one large lemon
3tbsp extra virgin olive oil
Spices to taste:
– Dried basil, dried oregano, red pepper flakes, salt and pepper

Combine all the ingredients, toss and Done!
Slice up the chicken breast and serve along side a hearty helping of the salad!

Enjoy! Let me know if you try this recipe out!


Even at your worst, I love you, and you should know that.

I am a passionate person. I have very strong opinions about things and I often try to be as open to other’s points of view as possible. But sometimes I find myself in situations, whether it be related to my family, friends, husband where the conversation escalades to a full blown argument. I actively participate in the argument as I have no problem with confrontation. Now the odd thing about me is that I can’t hold a grudge.
In my life I have always thought that grudge holding was a colossal waste of our finite time on this earth.


The way I see things is this:
Everyone has a an opinion that they have crafted as a result of many factors that don’t necessary have anything to do with me. So when I don’t agree with a particular opinion, I state my opinion, attempt the make the other person see things the way I do.

Sometimes it works – sometimes it doesn’t. This is when I either get indifferent or upset. But when I get upset, I get this overwhelming feeling of sadness towards that person. Then I can’t bear to be mad anymore. It just takes so much effort to be mad at someone you love. It could be my mom, my sister, my hubzter, my best friends, it does not matter.

I just feel so much love for them that any anger or sadness they cause me pales in comparison. So I do what I’ve always done.

Get over it. I tell myself:

Every minute you are angry at a loved one is a minute less you have with them.

And when I think about it, it’s just not worth it. So I move on.
Sometimes I feel like the people around me know this about me and unknowingly take advantage of it. They often joke around that I can never be mad at anyone for more than two minutes. Some also hold out on apologizing to me because they know I will forget about it in a little bit.

Is that fair to me? Is this how it’s going to be forever? I mean is that not a little inconsiderate that you can just hold out and wait for me to make up? What about them reflecting on what they have done, what they have said? I guess it’s my fault for giving in, I don’t know.

What I am trying to say, I guess, is that life is way too short, and grudges, tiffs, fights all suck. So let them go. And If you are the passive aggressive type, realize that you aren’t doing your friend a favour when you let them “simmer down and forget about it” because you refuse to give them the closure they would really appreciate.

I think for me personally, I like the fact that I don’t like holding on to negative energy, it takes the stress out of acting like you don’t care. Because I do. Even at your worst, I love you, and you should know that.

Bangladeshi Chicken Curry

My favorite part of living the married life is the fact that I make most of the dinner decisions.

Growing up under the wing of my Ammu and my Nani, there was little you got to do in the kitchen than chop onions and make garlic paste for hours… because you just didn’t get in their way.  Either you anticipated what the next step was before they asked you to do a task in their kitchen… or you got the heck out of their way and buried yourself under the piles of vegetable chopping that was too beneath them to do!

Early on in my married days, I realized I loved to cook. I liked to pin recipes for hours, then study them, then go out and purchase a million different ingredients [that I would use only once].  For the last few years, I have tried my hand at Thai food, Chinese food, Indian, Italian…

Although I LOVED all the recipes I’ve tried, nothing beats a simple Bangladeshi chicken curry.  One of the basic and most common place on a Bangladeshi dinner table, other than RICE of course!

Bangladeshi Chicken Curry | Scribbles From a Shahzadi

Bangladeshi Chicken Curry

Today I thought I would share with you MY variation – because God forbid anyone tell you the EXACT measurements for ingredients in any particular recipe.  Go on.. ask your Ammu for any method to a recipe… she will reply with

“iktu lobon, iktu holud, morich dite paro, diye nara chara korle.. hoye gelo”

roughly translates to:  “a little salt. a little turmeric, you can put chillies if you want, after just stir a little and –  DONE ”

Um. NO. It’s not that simple! But it’s simple enough.  Simple enough that you can stumble through this recipe and get a pretty decent chicken curry! This is my first recipe on the blog so just humor me.. and if you think I should change it up a bit or have suggestions on how to better write a recipe please leave it in the comments! Here goes!


  • 1/4 cup of olive oil [we try to make things healthier around here… sometimes]
  • 1 whole chicken, cut into “curry pieces” [the butcher, can do this for you.]
  • 1 large onion, sliced
  • 1 – 2 large tomatoes
  • 5 cloves of garlic, grated using a micro-plane
  • 3 – 4 green chillies
  • 1 tbsp red chilli powder
  • 1 tsp turmeric
  • 3 tbsp salt, more to taste
  • 1 tbsp cumin powder
  • 1 tbsp ginger powder
  • 1 tbsp coriander powder
  • 1 whole cinnamon stick
  • 1 – 2 dried red chilli
  • 5 whole cloves
  • 5 whole cardamon pods
  • 3-4 cups approx. of boiling water
  • 2 tbsp tomato paste [optional]
  • 1/3 cup of fresh coriander leaves, chopped [optional]
The Holy Grail of Bangladeshi cooking ~ The spice mix!

The Holy Grail of Bangladeshi cooking ~ The spice mix!


  1. Wash your raw chicken really well and leave it in a colander to drain.

    Clean your chicken really well!

    Clean your chicken really well!

  2. Once drained, go through the pieces of chicken to trim off any fat deposits that may be lingering on the meat.  It doesn’t hurt and doing this step will ensure you don’t have extra fat in your dish AND, I’ve noticed that sometimes there is an odd smell that comes from the curry if you leave it. [eww. gross]
  3. Get your kettle and get some water boiling.
  4. In a wok style pan, add oil and heat.  Add sliced onion and stir and get them sweating a bit.  When they begin to get golden around the edges, add your chicken.

    Sizzling onions

    Sizzling onions

  5. Once you’ve added your chicken to the pan, add your garlic, green chillies, salt, red chilli powder, turmeric, cumin powder, ginger powder, coriander powder,  coriander powder, break your cinnamon stick and add it in, add your dried red chillies, crush the cloves and cardamon pods a little bit to open up the flavour and dump it right in.  Stir to coat the chicken in the spice.

    Spices galore!

  6. Saute the chicken for a good 10 min to make sure the spices are cooking up and breaking down the chicken.  The chicken will begin to give off it’s own liquid which will be the beginnings of your curry.

    Cooking away!

    Cooking away!

  7.  You want to keep stirring every so often because you don’t want the chicken to get stuck on the bottom.
  8. After about 10 minutes of sauteing you will notice that the chicken is now cooking in its own liquid. Add enough hot water to the pot to cover the top of the chicken. bring the water to a boil.
  9. Add the tomatoes and your tomato paste (optional).


    Tomatoes and tomato paste go in!

  10.  Once the water has come to a boil, reduce the heat, cover the pot, and simmer for 10 min.
  11. Taste for spice/ salt level and adjust according to taste. let simmer.
  12. When you see oil surfacing to the top, add your chopped coriander and take it off the heat and let wilt.
  13. Transfer to a serving dish and serve over rice!

Bangladeshi Chicken Curry, Shahzadi Style!


Please let me know if you make this recipe.  If you do anything differently, maybe I can try it out! <3